God’s creation of this amazing world comprises of paradox and metaphors. On one hand, we have friends and family, and on the other hand, we have these really “special” individuals. Yes, we have all been there. These are the really “special” friends who have descended on this Earth vowing to make it a bitter place for us to live in. The distinctive species topping the list are the next door aunties who are more concerned for you than your own mom, the gifted friends from Facebook who know more about you than you know about yourself, the ‘I-just-got-99.5’ snobby classmates and the list could go on forever.
But let’s just be real. No matter how ridiculous and unimportant these people seem and sound, they actually and unfortunately exist. And trust me, there are a lot of them. They are inextricably entangled to every spheres of our life. So while it is seemingly impossible to uproot this large mass of people from our life, they are also impossible to obliterate. So here are four tips on how to put up with unpleasant people tactfully.
At a time when everything is readily done and found, the virtue of patience has almost elapsed. But like a Sudanese proverb goes, “Patience is the key which solves all problems.” However, easily said than done, patience certainly takes more than self-restraint and composure. And gentleman, Croft M. Pentz makes it easier by oozing the trick that the secret of patience is to do something else in the meantime. Staring at your unpleasant friend and wondering how this person isn’t at the asylum yet will only aggravate your exasperation. So instead, divert your attention to something other than the current crisis. You could think and visualize about your dearest or funniest memory from the archive of your past. Just make sure not to laugh too loud at the face of the other person in case he/she misinterprets it as a renewed eagerness to bond.
Reality, however cannot be escaped from for long. You can’t disregard a spiteful person or the problem forever and sooner or later you have to accept the situation. Now, accepting the unacceptable as a part of your life is tough undoubtedly, but in order to put up with these unpleasant people, you must take this step two. So once you are ready to accept this harsh reality, remember what our favorite J.K Rowling told-
“Understanding is the first step to acceptance and only with acceptance can there be recovery.”
Try to understand that the person you’re dealing with might have problems you’re unaware of. May be s/he hurt his/her head during childhood causing psychological disorientations in the later years, you know. Once, you have instilled this sardonic understanding, you will find yourself looking at the person from a whole new perception of sympathy and compassion, taking you further towards acceptance and eventually, the recovery.
However, some people can be hopeless. No matter how much patience, understanding and acceptance you invest in them, they will inevitably prove themselves to be unworthy of it. So how do you reside with this testing predicament? Ignoring is the next best treatment you can offer them.To avoid being victim of rude remarks and hostility, you must at first master the art of ignoring. Sometimes what people say impulsively is unintentional so not paying heed an unfriendly remark at times will save both of you from an embarrassment. Nevertheless, when you come across people whose obnoxiousness is a learnt and practiced mannerism, feel free to ignore them obtrusively. You can do so by interjecting and stopping them in the middle of their bleating or excusing yourself immediately in order to prevent yourself from throwing a stone at their face.
After you have tried all of the tactics mentioned above and you realize the person you’re dealing with has lost all hope, enlighten him. Confront him what an infuriating and frustrating experience it has been with him and how elated you’d be to severe all forms of ties with him. Do not use these exact vocabulary in the conversation lest you are prepared for an altercation. But yes, let him know or at least make him feel how his company is not the best one to keep for your own good. You can convey this message wisely in both a discreet and obvious fashion, depending on the IQ of the person at front.
Relationships are precious and delicate so we must put our best efforts to treasure and nurture them. But at the same time, we must recognize and differentiate the relationships which make us miserable and therefore require pruning. And after we discern the reality, we must make the right choices with kindness and wisdom.