Despite her utmost efforts, the memories replayed in her mind yet again. That night, a week ago came back, vividly. She remembered watching from her car as the orange flames licked through the street. She saw people running wildly on the road, heard the hysterical screams of the sufferers. It had been the work of a crude petrol bomb. Slowly, she rebuilt herself and came back to the present day, where she wondered how people could cause so much suffering to each other.
Where’s the love song to set us free?
Too many people down.
Too many things turning the wrong way around.
Pops and bangs. Crackles and sizzles. That’s what the news channels on television told her every day. Rapes, abductions and murders seemed to be all they talked about. Discovered bodies and disappearances. Every time she opened the papers in the morning she was reminded of the reason why she never wanted to read them in the first place.
It was a horrible way to start off the day. Who would like to start the day off hearing news about the death of young children? Or hear about endless strikes and blockades and the suffering of people? Empathy hurt too. By just imagining the suffering others were going through, made her sad. She got cocooned up in that state and just couldn’t think of anything else. It hurt her to see how much suffering people could inflict on each other.
It was a let down and a severe disappointment. When she had been a child, she had thought the world to be a wonderful place. She had envisioned the world as something that she could fix with just a snap of her fingers. As she grew up she learned a different reality . The world wasn’t such an easy place, it wasn’t so easy to fix. If it was then someone would probably have fixed it a long time back, right?
She didn’t really tell this to anybody else. She was known as the happy one, the strong one. She wasn’t meant to feel this way. If she did speak out her spewed thoughts, people would probably tell her to grow up and just accept the way that things were. They’d tell her that’s just the way the world works. They’d tell her naïve and childish thoughts meant nothing and didn’t belong in the harsh world that exists today.
Despite what people said, despite what she saw on TV or read in the newspapers, there was something she couldn’t get rid of. That was hope and optimism. She was always a believer in the good of people. She saw hope, happiness and tons of joy every time that she went out. It was the little things that worked. She didn’t know why, but when she saw the small things that people did for one another, it made her really happy — a father taking his son out on his motorbike, a couple laughing on their day out, children chasing one another with mad smiles on their faces. Nobody really noticed those, nobody wrote anything about them. You couldn’t see those in the newspapers.
Out there she saw all the things that defined humanity. Joy, happiness and love. But that’s what hurt her at the same time. If people were capable of such acts of love, then why did they have to hurt each other so much all the time? The acts of suffering that people inflicted on one another seemed colossal to the love they were giving.
And no one thinks they are to blame
Why can’t we see
That when we bleed we bleed the same
The thoughts of love and suffering often resurfaced in her mind. It wasn’t something that was easy to get rid of easily. So, what was her final conclusion, her final stand ? What had she decided to believe in? Giving up was not an option. She had decided to believe in hope, despite what the world tried to make her believe. She had seen so many brilliant and talented individuals capable of such amazing acts. What chance did the world stand against such people? The little kid inside her, with hope, aspiration and belief in spades, told her that everything was going to work out, it was all going to be all right.
If we stop dreaming now
Love will never clear the clouds.