She’s pretty; you’re shabby. Love was never meant to be. But should you still give it a chance or leave it to chance for her to find out? The dilemma over confessing love has been around for ages and is likely to remain. Social media and apps have made it easier than ever to deliver every awkward message to its rightful recipients unlike the T&T phone line cross connection days. That also means more mediums for word to get around about a possible rejection.
Love has never been easy, regardless of what your parents may say about their time. The question remains — to tell, or not to tell. Here are a few ideas that I gathered from speaking to a diverse group of friends on this:
You’re sure it’s love: I received a unanimous response in favor of spilling it all out if you’re sure you’re in love. If you don’t end up getting the intended reaction, it’s still a better call than petting your regret.
You’re confused: You need to spend more time with the significant other, or simply need to understand your chemistry better — there may be quite a few reasons to hold back on your emotions during this stage. Ruining a perfect friendship should never be the price to pay, suggest many. The best way out that they suggest was to take a time out. Vacation with friends or just staying busy with a hobby or interest for some time helps people revisit their “inner peace” zone and somehow opens them up to new perspectives of love and belongingness. It should also help in reaching a clear decision.
You know it’s a crush, no future plans as of yet: This is possibly a great emotional space to be in. It doesn’t hurt you to try or even to give up and move on. The question for the love stricken at this stage is centered more around what their counterparts are thinking. There is no harm in trying to pursue, but always keep assessing the emotional vulnerability of your crush before committing anything.
You’re a lady: Should a girl make the first move? The answer hardly makes sense, but is very practical. Who makes the first move should not be associated with the gender, rather the individual personality. Don’t let being a lady stop you from making your move if you’re sure it’s love and being expressive and true to yourself is your personality trait.
You’re the third wheel: ABORT MISSION! Retreat to a safe distance and observe. Do not make any moves until the coast is absolutely clear. Expressing love for someone already in a relationship is probably the best way to invite confusion and chaos in your life and others’. This ends up leaving people even more hurt than rejection. Even if it induces the person to rethink the current relationship and break it all up to join hands with you, you will be under the constant pressure of being liable for the break up. Also, the expectations from the new relationship will be of a much higher magnitude than the previous one, which will tend to leave them barely satisfied by efforts that seem to be huge to you.
Regardless of the stage you may be stuck at, take your time and be true to yourself when you confess, not the love quotes you searched the night before. Success is not defined by acceptance of the proposal, but by the happiness that fills you every moment spent together. Keep up the love!