“Why do you look so nervous? ” – with about 4.5 seconds of interval, he approached to answer the question he thought he just heard and realized how the words he thought of raveled inside his mind, enough to not make it to his mouth to be uttered, he felt dumb. His knees still unconscious to the poise of his bag, his left hand’s thumb couldn’t get a persistent hold to that of his right’s, his fixed glare spoke no aplomb across the table, his vision blurred and cleared every 5 seconds as he lost count of how many times he tried to enunciate -he’s okay. His mind constantly commanded him to ease up, but he couldn’t listen. “Thank you, the results will be published by 14th”. He left with a smile, partly fake and hopeless. An invisible tug with all it’s energy tried to pull him back for just another chance, as he walked towards the door bethinking over the rejection and the ocean of failure he thought he was drowning in. While passing by the “waiting room” he looked back at the remaining candidates, wondering who might be entitled to the acceptance of society – a decent job. His lithe mind let multiple negative thoughts cross, replace one another, each of it tried it’s best to poach his mind, making him more and more helpless over them. The same old situation from the past few months just reminds him of his worthless entity, ruled by a subconsciously grown contempt towards his own self. Not just this one interview – it’s all those overwhelming expectations and not being able to live up to them, it’s being both the reason of ‘once’ hope and ‘now’ despair, it’s the endless efforts of bringing smiles on the faces of those who immolated their lives to see his, and failing drastically. Even gravity seemed merciless as it was dragging him down with all it’s values. The frolicsome guy have lost every essence of living. Weather forecast seemed to have remained the same that day, as he stepped outside the office and noticed the clouds veiling all of the sky as much as possible, even nature resembled him. An unwanted breeze of dejection incessantly kept on passing him with no time lapse. He walked towards the bus terminal being nowhere near cognizant of his surroundings. While waiting for the bus, he pondered over his downfall when a little boy with a bouquet of red roses appearing before him instantly caught his attention; limp structured, torn clothes, messy haired yet eyes filled with glimpse of happiness -this little boy regarded to be quite adept in marketing as he started off by explaining the whereabouts of the flowers, went on about why anyone should buy them and concluded it with how reasonable the cost is, all that backing up with his restless nature and vivacious enthusiasm. Simultaneously he was trying to get a firm grip of the bouquet of the quarter drenched flowers with his left arm, his only arm, effortlessly – as though the disability was never an issue, he kept on smiling like the happiest person alive. Just when the bus reached the terminal, it started raining again, the grizzled sky couldn’t hold on to the cloudburst any longer. And the boy with the flowers started playing in the rain with his fellow mates. He couldn’t sell the “no longer vendible” flowers today. But his eyes reflect hope, hope of a better tomorrow where he might as well sell double the flowers than he usually does and earn some extra money, where he might be lucky enough to get a satisfying full 3 course meal, and might even get the chance to go to school, if luckier. The little efforts, ceaseless hopes, expectations of happiness with no assured durability or permanence are sometimes our firmest and irrevocable source of energy that encourages and works as an incentive for us to strive everyday, even in distress. They say the greatest life lessons are always profound, it’s up to us to unearth them and decipher the tenor of these disguised lessons. The bus left the terminal, but without him. He decided to walk home, he decided to live, for a better tomorrow, with that blazing hope of one -that promises actually living before just breathing. One that beholds no good guarantee of inevitable bliss, but ensures the strength to create it after hardship. A world beyond that tomorrow that imbues people with all It’s positive energy to live, to better livings, to go beyond borders and grasp opportunities, a world that speaks only the language of hope,a world inherently inclined to inspiring and achieving better purposes, a world completely devoid of all sorts of negativity or inequality. The rain kept on drenching his leather bag, and suddenly he was conscious to all those droplets lingering, whispering at him to live, as they gently unraveled his mind and words. This time he listened, he gathered a persistent hold over himself, self-worth replaced all those lethargic feeling of worthlessness, weather forecast remained the same, the tug no longer existed, gravity felt normal as he looked back at the boy, this time with a glare that spoke confidence, and smiled, for one last time.

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Mehreen is a miscellaneous version of introvert and extrovert, She loves traveling, inspiring and to be inspired, enthusiastic and vivacious, well most of the times.

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